new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
