I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Walk of Shame today included voting.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
