the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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