when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
meet me or not, i'm out of control
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
