The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Holy sore nipples Batman
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
