pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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