I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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