I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
