Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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