we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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