Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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