Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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