This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
