Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

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(419): View more from Ohio

The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .

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(214): View more from Texas

look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot

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(402): View more from Nebraska

At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.

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(516): View more from New York

Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box

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(416): View more from Toronto

BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.

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(831): View more from California

Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.

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