We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you win again, gameday.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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