Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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