3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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