There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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