thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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