My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
