That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Your mouth is God's brothel.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
