i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh god it's open bar.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
