OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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