ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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