why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
