i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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