Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
