Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
