I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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