three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
