She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
