Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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