Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
