I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
