your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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