she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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