Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
