I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
