your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
