So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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