haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
