im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
