the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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