Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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