it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
