brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I party with great urgency now.
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