I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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