im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
