It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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