Kiss
Puke
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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